Questions to ask a homeschooler

Ask the same questions you would ask any student whom you care about, such as:

• How's school going?

• What is your favorite class?

• What are you studying about right now?

• Are you involved with any clubs or groups?

And frankly, if you have any question about whether or not the student has adequate opportunities for socialization, just ask "are you lonesome?" or "do you wish you were in school around other kids all day?"  The answers you'll get from a student of any age might surprise you!

Years ago, when we first embarked on our homeschool adventure, I attended classes and conventions.  Socialization was of special interest to me, since Emily had no one near her age in our home.  Here are some nuggets of wisdom embraced by veteran homeschoolers:

• Children are not socialized at school so much as they are socialized at home (hopefully!)

• Homeschooled children are able to relate to people of various ages more comfortably than kids who are surrounded by same-age kids all week

• Homeschooled children don't succumb so readily to "age prejudice" as traditionally schooled children (yes, there's plenty of room for argument here)

• Homeschooling parents DO make efforts to socialize their children with others their age, but their energy goes into what they refer to as "high quality socialization"; this, as opposed to the incidental stuff that happens when kids are unsupervised on the playground, or in the locker room.  Locally, there is a group of teens who get together weekly to learn a sport. They spend weeks on the same sport, then move on to another one.  They spend 2-3 hours together in a cooperative effort.

• Another method of high quality socializing is associating with other students with similar interests, such as clubs like Scouts, 4-H, Pathfinders, or hobby groups like stamp-collecting, music, or reading groups.

• Homeschoolers with large families put an emphasis on socializing within the family.  That's not something we can do with our family of three, but I will say that we three enjoy ourselves immensely when we are together, and our family vacations are great fun.  Try asking Emily, and see what she says.  Homeschooling makes for close families!
  

• Oh, yes!  And, homeschoolers have FRIENDS.  :-)

Other people have argued the merits and superiorities of homeschooled kids' types of socialization more eloquently than I have.  I embrace argument #1--a child learns to relate to other people at HOME.  We know nice kids in school, we know nice homeschooled kids. We've seen "less nice" homeschoolers, and "less nice" kids at school.  There's a closer behavioral correlation with members of a family than drawing generalities about students in (or out of) school.  People are people, however they choose to educate.

So, having said all of the above, I will add that Emily's two years in school taught her much about living around other people, and moving in a "pack" as they do at this age.  It was not a bad experience (for the most part), and was a valuable part of her "growing up" years.  If local circumstances were different (if our community was larger), she would be in a school setting.  As it is, we're making the best of it that we can, and it's turning out to be a really good year.